


the rosy dot over the “i” of loving

by boylebingo



Category: Never Have I Ever (TV)
Genre: ALL THE GOOD STUFF, Cyrano de Bergerac - Freeform, F/M, Love Letters, Love Poems, Love Triangles, Pining, and obviously we gotta give creds to the OG, i couldn't get the idea out of my head so here we are, i promise this isn't as weird as the concept seems lol, lol so truly nobody wanted this BUT, ok so whatve we got then
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:33:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24765475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boylebingo/pseuds/boylebingo
Summary: Paxton Hall-Yoshida might not be the smartest kid at Sherman Oaks High, but he knows that if he doesn't start acting like it, Devi might lose interest. In order to stop that from happening, he enlists the help of resident nerd Ben Gross, who finds signing someone elses name on the love notes he writes to her.Or: the Cyrano de Bergerac fic that nobody asked for :)
Relationships: Ben Gross/Devi Vishwakumar
Comments: 92
Kudos: 124





	1. the voice from the shadows

**Author's Note:**

> Howdy y'all! 
> 
> Like I wrote in the summary, literally nobody asked for a modern-day Cyrano de Bergerac starring the NHIE love triangle, but I did write one. So here we are! 
> 
> If you don't know the story, it is "basically an old french play about a super handsome guy who's in love with this woman but he's too dumb for her so he gets his much smarter friend (who is also secretly in love with her) to write her love letters on his behalf" - a very over-simplified description written by me (who hasn't read the play in like 5+ years and is relying heavily on sparknotes lol), to leila (flashlightinacave - plz read her stuff it's very good!) 
> 
> You totally don't need to know the storyline to follow this, it's just like based off the same premise (and if you do know the story - just a reassurance that nobody will be killed off in this version cuz uh, yikes, that's not the vibe!) 
> 
> \+ all titles come from the original play!
> 
> Also just a lil bit of context: Paxton and Devi are like together-ish but only recently and things are rocky, Ben is (as always?) pining hard. It's not like a total AU in that they are all still American high-schoolers and not like Parisian soldiers, but it's definitely canon-divergent (at least from the point of the Paxton / Devi kiss onward). And just as an fyi Paxton is probably a lil dumber here than he is in the show. I did what I had to do haha :)
> 
> (p.s. there is one latin phrase in here that I 100% google translated so if you know latin and its garbage, i am sorry, and let me know haha)
> 
> OK, I think that's it! Enjoy <3

Ben Gross did not talk to Paxton Hall-Yoshida often. Or, ever, really. So he was a little confused when he had called him over to his locker after school, though not nearly as confused as he was now, mid-conversation, by what he thought he’d just heard Paxton say.

“I’m sorry, I don’t think I understand. You want me to _what_?”

“I don’t know how else to explain it, dude. I really like Devi, and we have fun hanging out together, but she’s into like, smart people stuff. So I need you to help me out, so she doesn’t get bored of me or whatever. You know, cuz you’re a dork.”

“Like Cyrano?”

“Right, exactly.” Ben was momentarily impressed that Paxton understood the reference until he heard him say, “Isn’t that how you say you look good in Latin or something? That’s just the kind of stuff I need.”

“No, that would be _Es pulchra femina..._ ” Ben sighed. “Anyway. Cyrano? Like the play we read in freshman year English? Where one guy makes his friend write poems for the girl he likes to impress her?” He figured he could get away with leaving out some of the other (slightly more crucial) details to Paxton about how Cyrano was _also_ in love with Roxanne and how a bunch of them wind up dead in the end.

“Oh. Does Devi like poems? Can you even write poems? Maybe I should have asked one of the lit magazine kids to do this instead…”

Ben knew Paxton was not the best student, but boy. This was kind of painful to endure. No wonder beating Devi had been so easy lately – hanging out with Paxton must have been killing off her brain cells.

“No, no, that’s not what I meant. Although I don’t think she’d probably complain if you wrote her love poems, I feel like every girl probably would like that. But whatever, it doesn’t matter what Cyrano is, really. I’ll do it.” _He would? Why was he agreeing to this? Was it too late to take it back?_

“Nice. You’re a real one, Gross.” _OK, apparently it was too late.,_ he thought as he found himself high-fiving Paxton.

“I don’t really know where to start with this, honestly. I didn’t think you’d say yes," Paxton continued. "But since you mentioned poems, you wanna just… do that?”

“Uh, yeah, I guess. Ok.”

“Sweet. Later, Gross.”

Ben waved awkwardly as Paxton left, not too sure what had just happened. As he turned to go, he knew he was in trouble already. _Had he seriously just agreed to write Devi Vishwakumar, his longtime academic rival, a love poem so that her boyfriend would seem smarter?_

He really couldn’t believe the parallels his life suddenly seemed to have to Edmond Rostand’s most famous play. Devi was his Roxanne, in love with Paxton – Christian – for his looks, but bored by anything that actually came out of his mouth. And there was Ben, silently pining over Devi despite the fact that she would never give the time of day outside of sparring with him in class, and yet was still willing to help her fall in love with someone else just so he could make her happy even if he’d wind up hurt in the end. The only thing that Ben felt like he had going for him in this moment was that he didn’t have the nose to match Cyrano’s.

* * *

Ben was finding it hard to focus on anything besides this new, odd arrangement he had gotten himself into. He was sitting behind Devi in calculus later that afternoon, tracing the lines of her arm with his eyes every time she raised her hand to answer a question. He was thinking back to a conversation the two of them had shared in this very classroom a few moths ago. He could barely remember the context, but one phrase – one insult that he’d hurled at her – was repeating itself over and over again in his mind.

 _“Please, David, I am obviously a 10. You’re_ barely _a six on a good day.”_

Ben wondered how it was possible that he was the same person who had said things like that and meant them. As he pondered whether maybe he had gotten a brain transplant or something without knowing it had happened, he realized he had stopped taking any notes at all. Instead, when he looked down at his page and saw he had absentmindedly written a poem while he was daydreaming.

It was a little cheesy, he thought, but the whole concept of writing a love poem was cheesy, so it would probably still work for Paxton. He also knew that Devi was a little softer on the inside than she let on to the outside world, so she probably wouldn’t mind anyway.

He guessed that Paxton wouldn’t understand half of the words that he’d written, but as far as he understood it, that was kind of the point. He mostly just hoped that Devi didn't pick up on the references that were so clearly about the two of them, but decided that it was just generic enough that imaginary smart-Paxton could have written it too. 

Ben had a free period after calculus, and he knew Paxton did too, so when the bell rang, he went to go look for him. He figured that he would have no luck looking in the library or any study room, so he headed straight outside, and sure enough, he was sitting in his usual spot with Trent and a few of his other friends.

“Hey Paxton, can we talk a minute?”

“Yeah, dude, what’s up?”

“I have the poem for you, or for Devi, I guess. I wasn’t sure if you wanted to read it or what, so-”

“Lemme see, bro.”

Ben watched as Paxton's eyes scanned the piece of scrap paper that he had scribbled on earlier.

“OK so I don’t know what most of this is about, but your sure it’s a love poem, right?”

“Yeah, I mean I wrote it so I’m pretty sure.”

“And Devi will get it?”

“Devi gets everything.”

“And she’ll like it?”

“I mean, I would, I think. If someone gave it to me.” _If Devi gave it to him,_ he corrected his own statement in his head. 

“Alright, well. I guess just add my name and slip it in her locker or whatever.”

* * *

When Ben went to get his things from his locker at the end of the day, he was really, really hoping that Devi would be gone already. But he had no such luck.

“Hey,” she said. “Weird question, but have you ever heard Paxton talk about math?”

“I mean, not really, I don’t think. Why?”

“He just wrote me this poem and it’s – it’s kind of beautiful but I just never realized he like…. _Knew stuff_.”

 _He doesn't,_ Ben thought, and fought himself not to say out loud, _I do._

“A poem, huh? I’d be surprised if Paxton could spell poem correctly.”

“Honestly, that’s kinda what I thought too, but listen. It says _‘Hey Coyote Girl. Was thinking of you today in class. See you later, Pax._ ’ And then he wrote this:”

So Ben listened, heart aching ever so slightly, as Devi read his own words back to him with a glint in her eyes that he knew was not – would never be – for him:

* * *

**“my perfect number”**

_If Euclid were alive today,  
He would know that when I call you a six,  
It’s because a ten cannot be perfect –  
The divisors just don’t add up the right way, _

_Kind of like how the fractions of my life never added up right either_

_Before we met, it was always  
one part weird family stuff,  
one part a reputation I could never live up to,  
And one missing piece that was preventing me from being whole:  
An empty slice in the pie chart  
Which, as it turns out, was shaped a lot like you._

_I’ve never admitted this before, but_

_I hated math until you became a part of my equation.  
For years, I couldn’t handle the algebraic complications  
The world was a word problem – two trains had left the station…  
We didn’t know where we were going because we were each other’s destination_

_Our collision should have been a mess._

_And yes, maybe on paper we still don’t really make sense,  
But I don’t need geometric proofs to know what we have is true,  
Because you helped me realize it wasn’t x that I was looking for in life –  
It was you._


	2. my heart always timidly hides itself behind my mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _""My heart always timidly hides itself behind my mind. I set out to bring down stars from the sky, then, for fear of ridicule, I stop and pick little flowers of eloquence."_
> 
> _~ Edmond Rostand, Cyrano de Bergerac_
> 
> In which Ben reflects on the events of the previous afternoon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!
> 
> First of all, thank you all so much for your warm reception to Chapter 1. I was slightly skeptical about this one so I was glad to see people were liking it.  
> Also based on a bunch of comments, I have since watched _The Half of It_ and ugh so good so thank you for that rec as well. 
> 
> Had I planned this fic out better, this probably would have mostly been a part of the first chapter, but I didn't, so it isn't, so here we are haha (i'm ~outlining~ as you read this, so hopefully we can avoid that happening again lol)  
> Speaking of which this chapter & the first one are pretty light on the Devi content but there will be more of her very soon. Pinky swear.  
> ALSO, I think I've mentioned this but it is especially true for this chapter: the degree to which Paxton has truly 0 clue has been amplified quite a bit for this to work best, so if he feels slighly OOC, that is why but it's fine we <3 a loveable dummy sometimes no hate for him here.
> 
> Chapter titles come from the original play! 
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> ~

Ben woke up the next morning still thinking about the conversation he’d had with Devi after she read him his own poem.

* * *

Devi finished reading and when she lifted her face, she looked back up at him with a doe-eyed expression and mile-wide smile.

“I mean isn’t that just like the cutest thing you’ve ever heard?”

“Uh, sure, I guess.”

“Oh come _on_ Gross if Shira wrote that for you, you’d probably propose on the spot.”

“I mean, no, I don’t think I would, but sure, point taken. It’s nice.”

“It’s just a little weird, though, right? I mean like, you and me argue about calculus and stuff like that all the time, but him and I have _never_ talked about anything like that. _Ever_. And he failed geometry, twice. But I googled it and he for sure didn’t take it off the internet or anything, so I just don’t get what’s going on.”

“Yeah, honestly, I got nothing, David.” Ben hadn’t really discussed their cover story in much detail, so he just decided _vague_ was the best route. “But I mean it seems good, right? That he seems to have at least 1 synapse firing?”

“Yeah, it kinda makes me feel a little better about my life choices if I’m being honest.” Devi looked like she was about to continue her thought, but something caught her eye over Ben’s shoulder.

“Paxton!”

 _Ah, not something. Someone,_ Ben thought.

Devi was practically running into his arms and Ben tried his best not to scowl at them as Paxton lifted her up and spun them around with only one arm around her waist. While Ben was trying to convince himself that he would _totally_ be able to do that too, he turned to face his locker and started pretending to rearrange its contents so he could avoid watching them kiss hello.

“I got your poem,” she told him/

“Oh yeah?” He slowly lowered Devi to the ground. “I’ll take that greeting as a good sign then?”

“It was a six,” Devi said, winking at him. She kept talking before she noticed the look of total confusion on Paxton’s face, or the hint of a smile that had creeped onto Ben’s.

“I mean I think those were the nicest words that anyone has ever written about me. Not that people are really writing about me all that often, or ever. To be fair, I think the last love note I got was the Valentine’s Day card that Ben gave me in second grade that just said, _“Roses are red, violets are blue, you really suck, I’m way cooler than you,”_ so the bar was kind of on the floor, but he’ll definitely have to work a little harder if ever tries to woo me like that again.”

“Right, as if that would ever happen, David,” Ben replied through a grimace. Not only was that _exactly what was happening,_ but he once again was being confronted with how mean he had been to Devi for their entire life and he kind of wanted to beat up his past self. Also had he really lacked so much creativity that _that_ monstrosity was the best he could come up with?

Luckily Paxton interjected, preventing Ben from going any further into an emotional spiral in front of them. “I’m glad you liked it, Devi. It was all from the heart,”

 _Technically true,_ Ben thought, _just not_ your _heart._ He rolled his eyes, still staring at nothing in particular in his locker, and wondered how many times he could take his chemistry textbook out his locker just to put it back in 15 seconds later before Devi would notice.

Ben heard Devi kiss Paxton’s cheek, and then saying “And from your brain too.” She was practically cooing and Ben thought for not the first time that day that he might be sick.

“I mean seriously, where have you been hiding that math knowledge?” 

Ben knew the question was more joking than serious, but he was pretty curious how Paxton was going to respond anyway, so he finally turned around to listen.

“Oh, well, uh…” Paxton trailed off as the two boys made eye contact. “Ben has actually been tutoring me lately, so.”

_He had?_

“You have?”

“I have.”

“He’s been telling me I need to _better appreciate the pursuit of knowledge_ ," Paxton added with air quotes. Ben recognized it as a Mr. Shapiro quote and wondered how that seemed to be the only thing he had retained from the class. "So yknow. I read stuff now.”

“Were you not reading before?” Devi asked, looking at Paxton concerned.

“Point is,” Ben interrupted, “I’m basically a miracle tutor and Paxton is our next Einstein so we can probably just be done with this conversation immediately, right?”

Devi gave him a strange look and he felt his stomach flip for no good reason.

“Yeah well that would be good timing,” Paxton said, “since me and Ben have a tutoring session now anyway.”

_We do?_

“You do?”

“We do. And it has been planned for so long, like longer than you’ve been alive, probably?”

“Ok, weird thing to say, but moving past that,” _Thank God,_ Ben thought as Devi continued. “Can I come? I could totally tutor you better than him,” she asked Paxton while jerking her thumb in Ben’s direction. “Plus you’re cute when you’re trying to be smart.”

Ben wondered how comments like that just seemed to bounce off Paxton like nothing. _Maybe they were right about ignorance being bliss after all…_

“I’d be too distracted if my teacher was hot,” Paxton answered, and this time Ben did not care whether they noticed him rolling his eyes because _gag._ “That’s why I failed art in tenth grade, I just kept submitting drawings of Ms. Marbury’s boobs.”

“Well on _that_ illuminating note,” Ben interjected a moment too late, “you ready to head to the library?”

“Sure, dude,” Paxton replied, staring blankly back at him.

It was at this moment that Ben realized Paxton was not moving because he did not know where the library was, and subsequently realized he was way more fucked than he had initially anticipated. _This kid was really lucky he could swim,_ Ben thought to himself as he took the lead and started off in the direction of what was apparently going to be his study spot this afternoon.

* * *

Ben didn’t turn around to look at Paxton until they had reached the library.

“So? What do you want?”

“You have to teach me how you did that bro.”

“Do what?”

“She just said that was the _nicest_ thing anyone had ever said about her. She’s never said that about something _I've_ actually told her, and you guys are _not_ the ones who are dating.”

“Well, I’m sure she only said that because _you’re_ dating her and she thinks _you_ wrote it,” Ben said to him, thinking that if he actually given that poem to Devi himself he probably would have gotten slapped. “But I’m sure it doesn’t help that you also tell her things like how hot you found your art teacher.”

“But I mean, you’ve seen her right?”

“Not the point, dude. Like seriously not even a little close. Devi doesn’t wanna know that shit.”

“So shit what _does_ Devi wanna know then?”

“Everything that was lost in the Library of Alexandria,” Ben replied without missing a beat.

“You have to know that I don’t know what you're talking about, right?”

Ben sighed, imagining a more pleasant existence in which this particular historical tragedy didn’t keep him up some nights.

“It was an ancient library with a lot of irreplaceable information that burned down and everything inside was lost forever.”

“Oh yeah, I think I remember that trending on twitter when it happened. Wasn’t it like in France somewhere? And there was a big point thing on top that fell down?”

“What? Are you talking about Notre Dame?” Paxton just shrugged, and Ben shook his head, trying not to show his exasperation. “No, it obviously – I mean. No. It happened a really long time ago. Like _before_ twitter. If it had happened when we had the internet, the information would have been digitized and not like, lost forever.”

“So like if its not on the internet, how do I find it? Like all the stuff that burned down.”

Ben wasn’t sure if Paxton was really that dense or if he just hadn’t really been paying attention, but either way he was really starting to lose patience.

“You can't find it, it burned down, did you not hear me when - I mean do you not know what the word irreplaceable means, or...?”

“OK right. But like it would be a lot easier for me if the things that Devi wanted to know were available on Google.”

“Yeah, well that’s kind of the point, I think.”

Paxton looked at him like he was trying to decipher a complicated Shakespeare soliloquy. “What I've learned today is that I definitely do _not_ get you guys.”

“OK, well that is for sure too big of a problem for me to solve all at once, or probably ever, so what do you want me to do here? I can write another poem or something? That seemed to work and it seems way easier than trying to get you to actually sit down and learn shit or like, have a conversation with her about something other than you that lasts longer than 45 seconds.”

Like clockwork, Paxton’s phone goes off with a text from Devi. Ben watched him read the message.

“Well, you can start with responding to this for me.”

He slid the phone across their table and Ben looked down. It was a picture of his poem pinned to a cork board with a second message underneath:

“thanks again for this. It’s become an _integral_ part of my bedroom decor”

Ben smiled. _People always say you shouldn’t fight fire with fire, but the only way to fight corny jokes was with even cornier jokes,_ he thought to himself.

“I’m really glad you liked it, I was worried it might be a little _derivative_ ”

“Not at all,” she responded within seconds. “Quite the _inverse_ if I do say so myself.”

Ben actually laughed out loud at how many winky face emojis she put at the end of that message. _God, she really was a dork,_ he thought.

As he tried to come up with another math pun to one up her again, she sent another message, changing the subject: “aren’t you supposed to be getting tutored rn?”

“Yeah,” he wrote back, “but Ben’s on break. I think he was so impressed I spelled my name right that he had to leave the room.” Ben might put on a falsely confident mask most of the time at school, but underneath it all, he had a real talent for self-deprecation. He even added an eye roll emoji at the end for good measure.

“lol tell me about it,” Devi replied. “guess now it’s your turn to put up with the shit Bens given me my whole life :P” _OK, that one stung a little more than he would have liked._ “Don’t worry though. He’ll only make you better in the end. I’ll let you get back to your _study date_ though, xo”

Ben stared back at the screen feeling not great about misleading Devi and even worse about the years he spent torturing her when he hear Paxton pipe up again.

“So how’d I do?” Ben had almost forgotten that he wasn’t alone at the table.

“Pretty good, I think. She likes math puns, so maybe you could try some of those next time you see her.”

“Oh well sure that’s perfect advice for someone who’s failed math three times, so thank you for that.”

“Dude, Devi has been into you for a long time. I really don’t think you have that much to worry about. Are you really sure you wanna keep doing this? It just seems kinda risky to me.”

“Depends on your definition of risk, I guess. Do I fake all this academic shit for a little while so I can keep Devi interested long enough to stick around for a while, but risk getting caught? Or,” Paxton says as he shifts his glance from its usual focus somewhere in middle distance to make direct eye contact with Ben, “do I do the slow and steady thing like your saying, maybe get a real tutor so I can learn this crap for real, and just sit back and relax while I watch her fall in love with some way smarter guy while she waits for me to play catch up.”

Ben does not enjoy the feeling he gets in his gut as Paxton says this last part, and it seems like somehow Paxton is trying to drill holes in his head using only his eyes.

“Right, well. When you put it that way I—” Ben didn’t know how to finish this sentence, so he opted instead to start a new one. “Listen, OK. I’ll write something at home tonight and slip it in her locker before she gets to school. Deal?”

“Thanks, bro. Do I have to like pay you for this or something?”

“Nah, it’s fine man. I really don’t need it anyway. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

 _Besides,_ he had left unsaid, _if Devi’s happy, I’m happy. What kind of a price could you put on that?_

* * *

Ben rolled out of bed and got himself ready for the day ahead, all the while ignoring the singular piece of paper laying on his desk at a neat, right angle – just as he had left it before he fell asleep. He folded it in thirds and put it in his backpack without looking at the words he had written on it until he was standing in front of Devi's locker, where, after checking to make sure she wasn't nearby, he read his new poem one last time before slipping it through the door. 

* * *

_**letting go of google** _

_I used to mourn for the Library of Alexandria._

_I would wish for my birthday_  
_That I could resurrect the words that went up in flames all those years ago_  
_And watching the candle wax drip,_  
_I went looking for answers I could never seem to find._

_I would study my father’s ashtray,_  
_not understanding how it could be possible_  
_that the most important knowledge in the world_  
_had been reduced to the same fate as his cigarette butts_

_I’d get lost staring at the embers in my fireplace_  
_as they slowly faded away_  
_and I’d wonder if anyone stayed to watch the flames_  
_when they turned greatness into grayness_

_And I know that you’re no stranger_  
_To grieving for all of the “what might have beens”_  
_We’ve both resigned ourselves to never getting answers_  
_We’ve both learned to live with the hurt_

_But lately I’ve been questioning whether that’s the way that things must be_  
_And I think it’s because I’ve finally started seeing you when you look at me._  
_Did you know that the answers to every question ever asked lay behind your eyes?_  
_In just one glance I saw the solutions to problems that I didn’t even know I needed to solve before_

_And I knew:  
_ _You w_ _ere the world I had been dreaming about for so long._


	3. your name is a golden bell hung in my heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paxton and Ben attempt to continue their charade, this time featuring 3D glasses with no lenses, corrosive shampoo, and concert tickets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm finally back with this one!
> 
> My apologies for the uber-lateness of this chapter; I had blocked out some writing time earlier in the week, and then found out I got ~an internship~ (yay! finally!) and so my plans for this week kinda got jumbled and also I gotta level with you: writing a poem per chapter is _tough!_
> 
> I took some time to try and backlog some poems for future chaps so hopefully I won't be nearly as long in uploading the next one, but I hope y'all can hang in there with me while I adjust to my new work schedule! 
> 
> This chapter is dedicated to all of my fellow choir nerds / music dorks, but I totally get that isn't everyone, so I've put some ~annotations~ in the notes at the end so that if nobody gets my super niche references it will hopefully make a lil more sense to you <3

When Devi opened her locker in the morning, a small piece of folded paper fluttered out onto the ground. She bent down and, seeing the heart doodled on the outside, smiled. As she read the poem that had been left for her, she felt her heart swell.

She didn’t know when Paxton had become her generation’s T.S. Elliot, but she had decided not to question it. Maybe he was a little smarter than she had given him credit for. Maybe Ben was actually a better tutor than she cared to admit. Either way, she wasn’t going to start complaining about the near-daily poems she had started receiving.

She looked around to see if Paxton was nearby so that she could thank him, but before she was able to spot him, she locked eyes with Ben, who seemed like he had been watching her from his locker.

“What?”

He cleared his throat. “Um. Nothing.”

He didn't stop looking at her, so she tried again.

“ _What?”_

“I just – is that another poem?”

“What’s it to you?”

“Well Paxton _is_ my student now. Gotta make sure his attempts at prose don’t tarnish my brand as the miracle tutor of Sherman Oaks High.”

“In that case,” she said, shutting her locker and making her way towards both Ben and their history classroom, “you have nothing to worry about. The poems are like, actually really good.”

“Really?” Ben was trying very hard not to smile too wide.

“Yeah, really. It’s a shame you can’t write shit like this, honestly, or you’d probably be able to start dating someone who has more than one brain cell instead of your current girlfriend. You know she thinks American is a language right?"

“Shira has more than one brain cell, that’s very rude. And besides," he paused, running a hand through his hair. "We actually just broke up. We decided it was best if we both took some time to live the single life, so maybe I can sharpen up my poetry skills while I mope.” This was at _most_ only half true, but he couldn't exactly let on that real the reason he'd decided to call it quits with her was because he had realized that staying with her while he was writing love poems to another girl probably wasn’t fair, even if she did ignore him 90% of the time.

“Oh right, I saw that on Instagram, I'm sorry dude. Actually, I thought I heard she was already dating that senior guy who’s mom is like a bazillionaire lobbyist for big tech or something evil, I’m surprised you don’t wanna like, get back out there too, or whatever.”

“I actually didn’t even know that. She blocked me on everything.”

“Was the breakup really that bad? No offence but I kinda didn’t think you guys even liked each other that much.”

“No, it’s fine, we didn’t,” he said. “She actually told me she was only doing it so she could make a post about how empowered she was for like ‘ _prioritizing self care’_ or something.”

“Oh yeah I do remember seeing that one. _There’s only one thing more important than cutting out the toxic people in your life, and it’s cutting out the toxic ingredients in your hair care products. That’s why I ONLY use Scammer Shampoo: For the girls who know that chemically-induced hair loss due to the fact that this is probably rat poison or something is soooo in this season.” _

Ben couldn’t help but laugh at Devi’s impersonation of Shira’s social media voice. It was pretty accurate, too: for as much as Shira had wanted to be with him “ _for the gram_ ,” there were probably twice as many paid promos for some hair care brand that was currently being sued after some Midwestern lady went bald after using it for a week. The ethics of that had never seemed to bother Shira. 

“Hashtag living my best life, hashtag self-care, hashtag Ad,” he added. 

“God,” Devi said, laughing, “she kinda sucked, didn’t she? I say good riddance.”

Ben opened his mouth to reply but was interrupted by a low-in-pitch, high-in-volume _“Yooooooo”_ from down the hall.

He turned to see that the source of this noise was Trent, who appeared to be quite taken aback by the fact that Paxton had arrived this morning wearing _glasses_.

Ben tried very hard not to bury his face in his hands, equally confused and appalled by this sight.

“Um, David?”

“I have no idea,” she said, before Ben could even ask. 

Paxton made his way towards the two of them, seeming not to notice the people shooting hi perplexed glances as he walked by. 

“Hey babe,” Devi greeted him, “what um…. what’s _new_?”

“Oh, nothing really,” he said, clearly trying and failing to be coy by sliding his pointer finger up the bridge of his nose. “Just trying out a new look.”

Upon closer inspection, Ben had realized that these were those #D movie theater glasses with the lenses punched out and, wondering how Paxton managed to dive into the 2012 alternative girl aesthetic, he couldn’t help himself any longer. “ _Why_ on _Earth_ are you wearing glasses?”

“Now that you’re like, making me smart, I figured I might as well look the part,” he replied smiling. “Oh, hey, that rhymed! I’m a poet and I didn’t even know it!” He was doing finger guns as he said this last part, which distracted Devi just long enough that she didn't really process what he was saying before Ben quickly interjected. 

“I mean you _did_ 'know it' though, _right_? I’ve actually heard those poems you’ve been writing for David aren't half bad.” Ben could practically feel his eyes about to pop out of his skull as he tried to indicate to Paxton that he needed to cover his ass so Devi didn't think something was up. 

“Oh, right, yeah.”

Devi cocked her head slightly at the two boys in front of her.

“Anyway,” she continued, deciding not to probe into their strange dynamic, “I think, babe, you know, only if you wanted, of course, but, _I think_ you could probably take those off, maybe. I mean, I’ll still know you’re smart.”

“Yeah, OK, you're probably right. Everyone’s looking at me weird anyway,” Paxton said slipping them into his jacket pocket and kissing her on the cheek. “Hey, Gross, is that how people look at you _all the time_? That must suck dude.”

He had been earnestly asking, Ben knew, but he felt the tips of his ears going red as Devi started cracking up at the question. He left Paxton unanswered as the three of them walked into history together.

* * *

Later that afternoon Paxton had cornered Ben and was looking around to make sure nobody around was listening in to their conversation.

“Dude, I have a problem.”

“What’s up?”

“Devi wants to go to the LA Philharmonic concert on Friday night.”

“OK?”

“I told her I’d get us tickets but I had to use Siri to figure out how to even _spell_ philharmonic.”

“So, what am I supposed to do about it? Devi made me quit trombone in sixth grade so music isn't exactly my strong suit.”

“Well I bought four tickets, so I thought maybe—”

“Nononononono. You couldn’t have done that because only an _insane_ person would have done that.”

“I just thought if you came _with_ us, then—”

“Dude, _how_ could you think that would be a good idea?”

“I mean, first thought, best thought, right?”

Ben groaned for several seconds before being able to formulate a reply.

“Paxton, I _just_ broke up with Shira, I don’t even have someone to _take_ on a double date.” He was really hoping that he would be able to worm his way out of this sure-to-be-disastrous plan.

“Oh, no problem at all, dude. I can just tell one of my friends to go with you. They're mostly out of your league but I'm sure I can find someone who's bored enough to come to an orchestra show on a Friday with you.”

Ben started trying to come up with another excuse about how busy he was going to be but his mind had gone blank.

Paxton apparently took his momentary silence as agreement, and said, “You won’t regret this, bro.”

“Wait, I didn’t say–” Ben tried to call after him, but he was already walking back down the hall towards his next class.

* * *

After Ben had finished his homework for the evening, he laid on his couch watching music theory videos on YouTube so he could brush up for Friday. It had been a while since he had taken any formal music classes and he figured that if his sole purpose for going on this double date was to be the brains behind their operation, he should probably make sure he actually had some musical knowledge to impart.

After about an hour of listening to lectures on chord progressions and trying to relearn how transposing instruments worked _(seriously, how could it be that a C on a clarinet was the same thing as a B flat on a piano? It was probably for the best that Devi had taken orchestra in their pact,_ he kept thinking, _because that shit made no sense_ ), he found his mind drifting off and before long, he had stopped taking notes about the use of terraced dynamics in the Baroque era and started writing another poem. 

It was practically finished by the time he had even noticed he was writing it, and he thought to himself that absentmindedly writing love poems to another dude's girlfriend was probably a habit he should try to break before it would up getting him into trouble somehow. He shrugged off this thought, and reread what he had written.

* * *

_**composing the space between us** _

_I never understood why people said that life was like a song_   
_Until we’re forced to spend a time apart_   
_And the world stops singing the way it used to_

_At first, it feels like I’m living through a Schoenberg composition_   
_Because somehow things are simultaneously terrifyingly random_   
_And yet plotted out purposefully_   
_To make each moment that passes is more dizzying than the last_

_On the worst days without you, it’s like it’s been orchestrated by John Cage_   
_No instruments will play_   
_The only melodies I’ll hear_   
_Are supplied by my own thoughts of missing you_

_I swear I hear a chorus of angels_   
_When I finally lay eyes on you again_   
_It’s not like the movies,_   
_Where they burst out into the Hallelujah Chorus in Handel’s Messiah_

_No – they’re singing Whitacre_   
_And I’ve learned to expect the unexpected_   
_And embrace the moments of dissonance_   
_Because the tension makes that final chord –_   
_The plagal cadence, the Amen –  
All the more sweet sounding_   
_To my lonely ear._   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you're all loving how messy this is ab to be as much as I am :) Come say hi @boylebingo on tumblr!
> 
> And for those that want it......  
>  ** _Hannah Badly Teaches You About Composers:_**  
>  Schoenberg: Ok so first thing you need to know is that most music is written in a key, which consists of 8 notes that follow a particular patter based on whether its major or minor. Schoenberg decided to say _"actually f that noise"_ and is now famous for his "twelve tone" technique where you basically would have to come up with what's called a "tone row" and then follow all of these super strict rules about like what order notes are allowed to go in based on that row, BUT because you're using all 12 notes instead of just 8 it doesn't sound like this super meticulous process at all, 99% of the time it kind of just sounds like a cat walking across the piano.  
> John Cage: You know when you go into a modern art museum and there's a room filled with just like paintings of rectangles and theres for sure some deep meaning behind them but you aren't smart enough to know what it is and all youre thinking is "geez even I could do this and I have like no talent at all." This is the music version of that experience, so let's hope I'm not the only one who has ever had it. Anyway, John Cage has a piece called "4:33" which consists only of 4 minutes and 33 seconds of silence. It's like a modern art type thing thats supposed to be like a ~the environment is the music~ etc. type thing.  
> Handel's Messiah/Hallelujah Chorus: Ok if you were to sing a song you thought was called "Hallelujah" rn? It's that one. People sing it at Christmas a lot? Idk if you arent sure I guess google it cuz like the only relevant words in the song are "Hallelujah" lmao.  
> Whitacre: He's a modern mostly-choral composer that every choir kid is either obsessed with or kinda hates. I fall in the obsessed category - if you've ever heard someone music as "crunchy," his stuff is what they're talking about. He uses a lot of chords that are called "tone clusters" which basically means that the notes are right next to each other (as opposed to the chords you would normally hear in pop music which are usually major/minor so there are notes in between the ones you're hearing? idk if this makes sense lol). One of my personal favorites of his is called "Sleep" - 10/10 would suggest looking it up on YouTube.  
> Plagal Candence: If you have ever heard a Christian hymn where they sing "Amen" at the end, you've probably heard a plagal cadence. It's basically just a way to end a musical phrase that is like a medium amount of resolved? Like it's not the MOST resolved a chord progression could be but it also isn't a ~deceptive cadence~ which is way LESS resolved. Again this is just kinda like a _thing_ you can hear that is way more complicated to explain only in writing. 
> 
> If any music theory/history nerds wanna correct me or have a better way of explaining any of the above please let me know it's been a minute since I like formally learned about most of this stuff.


	4. an instant of eternity murmuring like a bee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Hey Devi. I can’t believe I’m only just realizing that this is the same Ben I’ve heard so much about.”_
> 
> _“Whatever she’s said about me it isn’t true,” Ben quickly answered, eyes wide in horror as he imagined the things Devi must have said about him to her. Well, there goes that, he thought._
> 
> _“Even when she was complaining about how annoying it was that one person could be so smart and so good looking at the same time?” Sophie turned the corner of her mouth up in a way that Ben should find cute, he really should, but he is too busy being absolutely floored by what she’s just said. If he had looked at Devi, which he cannot bring himself to do, he would have seen her face had turned absolutely red and her jaw was nearly in her lap._
> 
> Part 1 of Paxton's brilliant double date idea not going the way any of them were hoping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! OK so starting with the good news: this chapter is definitely longer than the others have been so far. Slightly less good news for some of you: no poem this time. Sorry friends! They will be back though. Anyway, hope you like it!

When Paxton sent his friends a text asking if anyone was willing to come on the double date he had planned, he honestly hadn’t been hopeful. Most of the girls he hung out with would rather be doing literally anything on a Friday night besides going to the see the Philharmonic, so he was actually pretty surprised when Sophie, a junior who was the captain of the women’s swim team, sent back a lengthy paragraph about how Gustavo Dudamel was her idol, to which Trent replied in their group chat _“hahaha his name is dude.”_ He didn’t really know what most of what she had written meant, which was becoming a trend for him, but he gathered that she was in, so he sent her the details for the concert and decided that maybe Friday night wouldn’t be as much of a disaster as Ben had implied.

Now that he had secured a date for Ben, he was able to break the news to Devi that he would be joining them. He knew she’d probably be a little pissed since they had some sort of weird rivalry that Paxton didn’t exactly understand, which was _also_ a trend for him, but he had noticed that ever since he’d come up with this whole fake tutoring thing that the two of them had been getting along slightly better, so he hoped it wouldn’t be that much of a problem.

Their FaceTime conversation had been louder than he was hoping for on Devi’s part, but he somehow managed to convince her that it was important for Ben to try and get back out there because he had been seeming really lonely lately after his breakup. Eventually, she relented, saying it was fine if he came too, which was good since Paxton definitely could not afford to pay for 4 tickets on his own.

On Friday night, he picked Ben up first so that they could go over their plan one last time. When he got into Paxton’s car, he handed him a sheet of paper.

“Here,” he said. “It’s about music, she’ll like it.”

Paxton glanced down. He didn’t really get the references, but the general meaning was clear: being with Devi = good music, not being with Devi = shitty music.

“So like who are these actually for?”

Ben furrowed his brow at him and tilted his head. “I mean aren’t they for Devi?”

“Right, I know they’re _for_ Devi, but like, _you’re_ not actually in love with _her,_ I just figured that all this super romantic stuff must be coming from somewhere, right? And it seems like it wasn’t Shira, so who’s the girl?”

“Oh,” Ben seemed to let out a breath he had been holding. “Well, there’s no one, really. I guess I just imagine what I think you must feel about her and then add some SAT words, I don’t know. Besides, why would I agree to go on this date if I was like, madly in love with another girl, that would be ill-advised.”

Paxton might not be at the top of his class, but he could tell that rambling answer was bullshit. He decided not to push it, though, knowing that he needed Ben on his side if he was going to end the night not looking like the kind of person who thought that the Philharmonic was for grandmas and kids with braces, even though he _definitely_ thought that.

“So anyway,” Ben had continued, “the actual concert part should be easy. You’re not really supposed to talk while they’re playing, so all you have to do is listen, really. It’s really just afterward when we’ll all have to make conversation about it.”

“Right, so what do I say then?”

“Do you know anything about the planets?”

“Mars is red. Hans Solo was cool. That’s about it.”

“Oh, yikes ok.” Paxton caught Ben trying not to grimace at his response.

“I don’t know, man, I slept through our field trip to the planetarium in fifth grade and it just never really seemed important to learn about space after that. Why does that even matter?”

“Well they’re playing a suite called The Planets, so I thought, you know, if you knew things about the planets, we could work from there. But it’s fine, we’ll make it work.”

Then suddenly, before Paxton had a chance to respond, Ben remembered, _“Actually,_ John Williams has said that the music from Star Wars was really inspired by Holst, especially the _Mars_ movement, so if you just talk about that, you’ll be fine probably. I can cover you on the rest.”

“Sure, man, whatever. I’ll figure it out, I guess, or like, do some googling in the bathroom or something.”

He paused, and Ben started wondering why “googling in the bathroom” couldn’t have just been Paxton’s plan all along. Before he could spiral too far into panicking that he really shouldn’t be there, his train of thought was interrupted.

“We’re almost at Sophie’s place, by the way. She’s actually way dorkier than I remembered, so you guys should actually get along well.”

Ben tried not to take offense to this as they pulled up to a two-story house with an almost too well-manicured lawn. He watched as a light in the upstairs window went off and then moments later, the front door swung open.

He’d been bracing himself for the worst date night ever, given that the Venn Diagram between Paxton’s female friends and Shira’s female friends was nearly a circle, but as he watched Sophie leave her home, he noticed that she didn’t really look much like those girls at all. She was wearing a baby blue dress that swung gently around her knees as she walked towards them. She had a bounce in her step that radiated an almost infectious positivity, Ben thought, as he felt a small grin creep onto his face. Her smooth, blonde hair brushed her shoulders and almost looked like a halo, glowing under the full moon that was in the sky that night.

“Dude,” he heard Paxton say, “Are you gonna like open the door for her or what?”

Ben realized that this would be the polite thing to do, so he climbed out of Paxton’s front seat to greet her, noticing her soft blue eyes and even softer looking freckled cheeks, which were full as she smiled at him, and a little flushed, which he attributed to the fact that it was a chilly evening, for LA at least.

“Hi,” he said, smiling back at her, and he swore her grin widened just a bit as they made eye contact. “I’m Ben.”

“Yeah, I figured,” she joked, “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

“I hear you’re a fan of the conductor?”

“Oh my gosh, yeah,” she said, “I literally want to be him when I grow up,” she said laughing. “That’s so dorky, sorry.”

“I’m the President of Model UN, you do _not_ have to apologize for being dorky.”

She laughed again. “Thank goodness. Honestly, Devi and I always talk about how cool Dudamel is, which I think just kinda emphasizes how uncool we are, but I can live with that.”

“Devi is definitely uncool,” he replies, “But I don’t think you are.” He smiled. _This wasn’t so bad,_ he thought. “I actually didn’t know you were friends with Devi.” 

“Yeah, we do orchestra together. I play the flute.”

Ben started to reply but was interrupted by Paxton leaning on his horn.

“We’re gonna be late,” he shouted at them through the window.

Ben opened the back door of the car and gestured for Sophie to climb in. He got back in the passenger seat, thinking it would be kind of weird for Paxton to drive him around like it was an Uber, even if it was just a couple minutes to get to Devi’s house.

“Hey, Soph,” Paxton seemed to grumble as she got in. His apparent frustration at their lack of punctuality did not seem to sway her upbeat mood even a little. Ben was kind of envious of how bubbly she seemed to be – he felt the exact opposite of that 95% of the time. He tried hard to push away the small voice in the back of his head which was unhelpfully attempting to remind him that the remaining 5% was spent with Devi.

The two boys stayed fairly quiet as they drove the remaining few blocks to get Devi, but Sophie chattered on despite their monosyllabic responses. Ben wasn’t 100% sure _why_ the mood had shifted between him and Paxton, but it _definitely_ had.

Devi was sitting on her front steps when they pulled up to her house. She shot up and bounded towards the car with none of the grace that Sophie seemed to possess, but Ben was, despite willing himself not to be, still charmed.

She swung the passenger door open almost violently. “Beat it, Gross. Go sit in the back with Sophie.”

“Hello to you too, David,” he replied, as he unbuckled his seat belt.

Devi climbed in after he climbed out and started on a slight tirade.

“I feel like I’ve been waiting for an hour, where the hell were you guys? And why did you get Ben first, that literally makes no sense, his house is the closest to the concert hall, now we’re just going to have to go back in that direction and I swear to every single god that if we do not make it in time I am going to–”

“It was my fault,” Ben interjected.

“Well, yeah, obviously,” Devi swung her head around to face him in his new seat. “What isn’t?” Ben shrugged, and Devi turned her attention. “Hi, Sophie.”

“Hey, Devi. I can’t believe I’m only just realizing that _this_ is the same Ben I’ve heard so much about.”

“Whatever she’s said about me it isn’t true,” Ben quickly answered, eyes wide in horror as he imagined the things Devi must have said about him to her. _Well, there goes that,_ he thought.

“Even when she was complaining about how annoying it was that one person could be so smart and so good looking at the same time?” Sophie turned the corner of her mouth up in a way that Ben should find cute, he really should, but he is too busy being absolutely floored by what she’s just said. If he had looked at Devi, which he cannot bring himself to do, he would have seen her face had turned absolutely red and her jaw was nearly in her lap.

“That’s very nice of you to say, Sophie, but there’s no way that she was talking about me.”

“No, no, she totally was,” she insists, and Ben really wishes she wouldn’t. “I remember because before Devi and Paxton started going out I totally thought she was into _you._ ”

The world’s most uncomfortable silence has settled over the car, and finally, Sophie realizes she maybe has said something she should have kept to herself, even though she’s not really sure why. Slowly, she adds, “Obviously not, though.”

“Obviously,” Devi echoes quietly.

Ben finally looks towards her, but she’s turned to face forwards again. She looks rigid, but there’s nothing he can do to make her less tense that would in any way improve the situation in the car. So he just goes for a total subject change.

“Paxton told me he wrote you another poem,” he blurts out. _Shit,_ he realized, _if she read it in front of him, that was only going to make things more awkward._

“Paxton writes poems?” Sophie asks, seeming, like any sane person would upon learning that information, confused.

Devi softens, turning back around with a huge grin to look at Sophie.

“I know, kind of a shocker, right? But Soph, they’re like the most romantic things I’ve ever heard.” She turns back to face Paxton, who has been notably silent throughout this entire exchange. “Babe, do you have it now? I’d love to show her _just_ how lucky I am.”

“Yeah,” he says, and Ben swears he sees him grip the steering wheel tighter. “In the glove compartment.”

Devi pulls it out and reads the poem aloud. When she finishes, she plants a kiss on his cheek.

“Wow, Devi,” Sophie practically gushes, “you were right. That was beautiful, Paxton!”

“Thanks.”

Ben silently urges Paxton to be a better actor, because he is making it painfully obvious that something’s annoying him.

“I didn’t realize you were into like, music history and stuff.”

_Fuckfuckfuckfuck,_ Ben thought. _We did not prepare for this._

“Oh well, I’m not, really. But y’know Devi is, so, I thought this would make her happy.”

Luckily, this answer seemed to be enough for Sophie, who was practically cooing at them about how “You two are seriously perfect for each other, it’s crazy.” Ben had almost decided they were in the clear when he noticed Devi’s glance was darting between him and her boyfriend. They made eye contact for what must have only been a half of a second, and she looked like she wanted to say something, but Ben couldn’t quite read what it was.

Luckily, though, Paxton pulled into the parking lot at the concert hall at that exact moment, and Sophie started to squeal in excitement. It had barely been 20 minutes, but the endless positivity which he had admired her for earlier was starting to become a little tiring for him, given that at this moment, his ideal activity would be burrowing a hole into the ground and then maybe just living in it forever so that he wouldn’t ever have to eventually deal with whatever Devi had wanted to ask.

When they finally got to their seats – _with plenty of time,_ Ben was thinking, _so there was really no reason for all the fuss earlier –_ the awkwardness from the car seemed to have dissipated slightly. He realized that he probably should have thought their seating arrangement through beforehand, though, because he winds up sandwiched between Sophie and Devi and if it were socially acceptable to just let out the world’s longest scream in the middle of a concert hall, he would have.

Nearly as soon as they sit, Devi leans across him to ask “Hey, Soph, you wanna run to the bathroom before it starts?”

“Sure thing!” Before they know it, the two girls have vanished and Ben turns to find Paxton looking way too interested in the program.

“Did I do something?” Ben ventures.

“What? No.”

“OK because before we picked anyone else up, I was starting to think we were actually like, getting along. And now it seems like we aren’t.”

“We have never been friends.”

“Ok.”

Ben didn’t want to bring up all of the reasons he suspected Paxton was acting so sullen, so he decided that the nose-in-the-program method would work just fine for him as well, and the two of them remained silent while waiting for the girls to come back.

Meanwhile, in the bathroom, Devi and Sophie were blissfully unaware of the tense situation they had left behind, and, as teenage girls in bathrooms are wont to do, decided that it was gossip time.

“I can’t believe _that’s_ Ben,” Sophie started. “Based on how you described him I was always kind of picturing a bridge troll, but he’s _super_ cute.”

“I’d still go with bridge troll, but if that’s what you’re into, suit yourself,” Devi answered.

“Oh come _on._ I mean I know you and Paxton are like _couple goals_ or whatever,” Devi rolled her eyes at this phrase, but she was smiling too – she couldn’t help being happy that other people thought her and Paxton might actually make sense – “but you _cannot_ tell me you guys have been rivals since forever and you’ve _never_ thought about it?”

Devi’s smile dropped from her face and she opened her mouth to vehemently deny this, but she found she couldn’t do it. _Stupid Dr. Ryan, trying to make her more honest._

“I mean, _maybe_ , years ago, but…”

“Oh?”

“I mean we all had bad taste in middle school, right?”

Sophie shrugged. “I dated Paxton in middle school.”

“How did I not know that?”

“I mean, it never seemed important to bring up – it was seventh grade, we probably lasted all of 6 weeks, if that.”

“Please tell me everything about you two, I need to know what pre-teen Paxton was like.”

“Oh god, I barely even remember. Every girl on the swim team was in love with him, so nothing’s really changed there. We were friends because we were both captains. The way I remember it is that I think all of our honestly pretty terrible friends decided we were in love because, I don’t even know why, heteronormativity? So they made us play seven minutes in heaven at someone’s birthday party, and he kissed me – badly, because, again, we were 12 – in like a linen closet or something? And back then that meant you were basically one step away from marriage, so he took me on one whole date to the diner before he broke up with me. Very exciting stuff.”

She was laughing, and Devi laughed too. “God that sounds like the best worst middle school relationship ever.”

“Listen, I got a free vanilla milkshake out of it, so I can’t complain, really.”

“Aww, what a little gentleman, he paid?”

“Of course! Heteronormativity, remember?”

When they emerged from their giggle fit, Sophie smiled softly towards Devi. “Were you and Ben like the same kind of thing?”

“Oh god, no. I never – we never even – no. Definitely no free milkshakes anywhere in sight.”

“I see.”

“Honestly though, as much as I think he sucks, I think you two could be really good together. You are _way_ better for him than Shira.”

“Oh my god, right, ok, all the pieces are coming together now. Shira Ben is nemesis Ben is Philharmonic Ben. Got it. Didn’t they only just break up though?”

“Yeah, technically, but they never liked each other, so I would not worry about that at all. Like I said, she sucked.”

“Yeah, I think the only time we’ve ever talked was when I saw her at the nail salon once and she definitely insulted my toes, which was super weird. So hopefully I’m at least a step up from that.”

“You clear that bar several times over.”

They returned to their seats and while Sophie didn’t detect the strange atmosphere, Devi definitely clocked that something was up.

“What did you do?” She was whispering through her teeth at Ben.

“ _I_ didn’t do anything. _You_ , on the other hand, apparently told your friend about how handsome I was, and your boyfriend doesn’t seem to appreciate that.”

“Oh my _God,_ please do not make me puke in your lap. She _obviously_ did not understand whatever I was saying correctly because I would never even _think_ that you looked good, let alone say it out loud to someone I barely know.”

“Whatever you need to tell yourself to sleep at night,” Ben said, looking more confident and smug than he was feeling.

Devi was boiling on the inside and narrowed her eyes at Ben. “If I _actually_ thought you were attractive, I wouldn’t be doing this, would I?”

She pulled at Paxton’s shirt collar and, right in front of all of the 80-something-year-old ladies that were sitting around them, started making out with him in their seats. Ben rolled his eyes and stared intently at the stage ahead, praying that any moment now the lights would dim and the show would start. Devi stuck her had behind her back and flipped him off without even coming up for air.

“Aren’t they cute?” Sophie leaned in towards him to ask.

“I kind of think they’re disgusting, but I think everything David does is disgusting, so that might be why.”

“Aw come on, they’re in love!”

“Sure they are.”

“Don’t tell me you like don’t believe in love or something dumb like that. I mean we’re on our first date, so the least you could do is lie.”

“No I believe in love,” he said, sighing, and turning his head back towards Devi, who had stopped trying to prove her point and was now leaning her head onto Paxton’s shoulder while he draped his arm around her waist. “I’m just not convinced that’s it.”

Before Sophie had a chance to respond, an announcement came over the speakers.

“ _And now presenting, the Los Angeles Philharmonic,”_ he heard, followed by applause. The players suddenly made their way onto the stage and the house lights went dark. Devi nudged Ben in the leg and shot him a look that he very clearly understood to mean _Hold her hand, dipshit,_ and so he did.

Sophie was nice. _He should want nice,_ he found himself thinking as the telltale racket of a tuning orchestra filled the room, _nice is good._ But as she looked up at him with a smile that was also _nice,_ he found himself forcing one to give back. _Well, fuck_ _._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I realize that this ends in sort of a weird place but the next chapter will pick back up from there, so don't worry, There's more tension to come ;) I just didn't really wanna like, write them sitting through the concert quietly lol. 
> 
> ALSO: Like I said, my update schedule is ~wonky~ atm but stay tuned for more soon, I pinky swear! And til then, ***come say hi*** I'm on tumblr [@boylebingo ](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/boylebingo) (among other URLs bc _sideblog struggles_ lol) and would love to chat about NHIE or anything tbh :)


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